The government is so weird
03.25.2008
For a project at work I’m going to possibly have access to sensitive governmental data so I had to get a background check. I got fingerprinted and filled out a 10 page questionnaire, the whole 9 yards. If you get an envelope that looks like this, don’t worry about it, just fill it out and send it in. Don’t forget to mention I’m imminently trustworthy and have no history of violence, mental problems, drug abuse or legal issues. Don’t mess with me on this or I’ll kill you! I’m not afraid of jail, I’ve been there before! Where’s my heroin?! Waaaahhh! I made a poopie…where’s my mommee?!
Anyway, I show you this picture because when I saw what they were sending out I just about wet myself for real. There’s this completely ominous return address with a seal and everything, followed by “Have a nice day”…seriously?! I think they do that to soften the “sticker shock” of getting something that looks like that but I don’t think it manages because it just looks…weird. That’s not part of the envelope either. It’s on a line that’s part of the envelope but obviously added after the face. What else would go on that line?! I would like you all, my reading public, to answer me that in the comments. What else goes on that line?
Reading the first paragraph of this post, I definitely think Todd has been working too much lately. The stress is frying his brain.
I wonder if whatever the line says is code for how much security clearance you need or something. If it says “Thank you” that would be lower and if it says “Have a great day” that would be higher. I hope I don’t get one, I don’t feel comfortable lying on government documents, unless it gets me my methadone.
Frying it like an egg.
Gross comments everywhere else and no one is playing my game (except Manduh) C’mon, doesn’t -anyone- think there could be funny stuff on that line? “We know where you live”, for example. “Uncle Sam Wants You!” for another
I think my original tagline for the 606 business card – “Smile. You’ve just been webf*@ked!” – would work great on that line.
Ok, um… How about, “Try the Government cheese!”
Matt, you gotta read the words I type next to the picture, man
I did but it got too wordy and I fell asleep.
What are you talking about?
Or, “So?? Cheney doesn’t care what you think!”